Life in Progress

Oct 01

la-trinite-fatal:

fatbodypolitics:

casual-isms:

activistaabsentee:

madonnax:

June 1987, Madonna was rushed to the Cedars Sinai hospital for an X-ray after her then-husbandSean Penn hit her across the head with a baseball bat. At the time, they had been having a heart-to-heart talk about reconciling.

Madonna did not make an official complaint because Penn was about to serve a short jail term for attacking a film extra and violating the probation he’d been given for punching a fan. It was a decision she would come to regret. In the late afternoon of December 28, 1988, Penn scaled the wall surrounding the Malibu house and found Madonna alone in the master bedroom.

According to a report filed by Madonna with the Malibu sheriff’s office, the two began to quarrel. Penn told her he owned her “lock, stock and barrel”. When she told him she was leaving the house, he tried to bind her hands with an electric cord. Screaming and afraid, Madonna fled from the bedroom. Penn chased her into the living room, caught her and bound her to a chair with heavy twine. Then he threatened to shave her hair. Penn was “drinking liquor straight from the bottle” and the abuse went on for nine hours, during which he smacked and forced Madonna to perform a “degrading sex act” on him.

He went out to buy more alcohol, leaving Madonna bound and gagged. Some hours later, he returned and continued his attacks, then finally untied her. Madonna then fled the house and ran to her car. Penn ran after her and was banging on the windows of her Thunderbird while she spoke to police on her mobile phone. Fifteen minutes later, she staggered into the sheriff’s office.

Wow. I had no idea this had ever happened. Makes me look at Sean Penn a lot differently, even if he’s a more stable less ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING person now…

Friendly reminder that Sean Penn and other abusive white celebrities are not demonized the way that Chris Brown is and when Rihanna said she still loved Chris Brown people were ready to hang her. But Madonna gets all the sympathy in the world.
#double standard

The bold.

For the bold. Madonna was bound and tortured for nine hours by Sean Penn. Not a peep to the media. 

*wants to hug all the victims of domestic violence :c*

The following is something of a rant about the culture of victim-blaming and how domestic abuse “works,” in that abusers get away with it all the time, and victims often don’t report them or repeatedly return to them.

The sad truth is abusers are incredibly manipulative.  In their possessiveness, they isolate their victims from family and friends, explode at even a hint of interest in someone else sexually (and by hint I mean “smiling at the waiter when giving a drink order” not making bedroom eyes or anything), and then they start undermining their victim’s sense of self-worth, until the victim believes no one could possibly love them like their abuser does, because the victim is, at a basic level, unlovable.

Women are particularly susceptible to these manipulations because mass media is constantly telling us we need this product or that product or we won’t be good enough.  When a victim is told over and over that they deserve the abuse, that the abuser is looking out for them somehow or trying to correct bad behavior or protect the victim from bad people - well, you hear something enough and you start believing it, that’s been scientifically proven.

And what I find most tragic in the cycle of violence is the insidious means it has to carry from generation to generation, and that even when substance abuse triggers the problem, getting clean may not solve it.  Children who grow up in abusive homes are frequently either abusers or victims of domestic abuse as adults.  Someone who escapes one abusive relationship may end up in a different abusive relationship afterwards, because victims develop coping mechanisms - if the abuser still apologizes after, still says “i love you,” still brings flowers or gifts, well, then it’s not really that bad, right?  ”He didn’t mean it.  He just lost control of his temper, that’s all.  He didn’t even hit me, only the door.”  ”She was drunk, she wasn’t herself, she still loves me.”

The most dangerous part of this parasitic relationship is when (if) the victim decides to leave and attempts to do so.  Possessive abusers don’t take that well at all.  Often they become so violent that the victim is killed.

If the victim lives, they may be cowed into submission, convinced they deserved a beating for trying to run, that they’re ungrateful, etc., whatever the abuser tells them (certainly they’ll say anything the abuser wants to hear, if it means the beating stops).  And the cycle continues.

So don’t ever ask a victim of domestic abuse “why don’t you just leave ——-?”

Because just leaving can get them killed.

Instead ask if they need help, offer them a way out, though you may have to start small.  A prepaid cell their abuser doesn’t know about.  Slowly funneling clothes and possessions into someplace safer to live.  Do not cause a direct confrontation.  Document the abuse if the victim will allow it.  Do not push too hard too fast, because this is an extremely difficult and dangerous process that involves defying/betraying someone who has literally defined their sense of worth, who has destroyed them over and over.

Find a sympathetic police officer before you or the victim need one.  This is essential.  There will always be good cops, mediocre cops, and lousy cops.  You need to find a good cop.  Talk to a women’s shelter about what cops they’ve had good rapport with.  Meet with the appropriate groups.  Get the cop’s business card or cell number.

And if you are a victim of abuse right now: please know that you don’t deserve it, you’re not alone, you can get help and you can get better.  And that abusive asshole should go to prison.

Oct 01

notbecauseofvictories:

also that whole tale of aragorn and arwen thing where he saw her in the woods at twenty and fell instantly in love and it’s very beren and luthien? lies.

aragorn decided he was going to marry arwen when he was like, six.

and everyone thought it was just the cutest thing, baby estel with his little crush on the great immortal evenstar, and everyone would tease him about it relentlessly and he would get so mad, and pout, because how dare they doubt his word.

(arwen spent a lot of time biting back smiles and nodding very seriously when aragorn brings this up with her. no, estel, I do not know why they are laughing perhaps they have remembered a particularly funny joke.)

and then aragorn grows into this gangly teen and oh my god can you imagine being a pimply greasy teenager around fucking elves it’s a wonder he has any self-image left. His voice breaks every other word and the laundresses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the sheets because estel keeps washing them himself and aragorn wants to die, god, arwen is never going to marry him if he stays all elbows and skinny knees and he can’t even look her in the eye anymore without blushing, eye contact is probably something to look for in a husband—

(arwen, who never had to go through puberty because elves don’t do anything so undignified, tries to comfort him by saying she likes his blemishes. aragorn gives her a look of such utter, miserable despair that she starts laughing.)

(this is a mistake. he spends the next three weeks nursing his wounded ego and refusing to see her.)

estel is twenty when he asks for her hand. he is lean, slender and fair as a new tree, and so arwen does not feel guilt in kissing his cheek and gently refusing. he is still green, he will weather greater storms than this—and he takes it as he should, clasping her hand and swearing to ever be her loyal friend.

they write to each other—when she is in lorien, when he wanders with the rangers of the north, fights alongside gondor, travels to distant lands. it is an inconstant tie—he is rarely afforded time enough to put pen to paper; she is reserved so as not to encourage what may not be. (she signs her letters always, your friend. She likes him too well to be cruel in this.)

the years pass. his weariness and strife creeps onto the page, and she sends him tokens to fend off the darkness—leaves from lothlorien, the ribbon from her hair, snippets of poems. it is not enough it is never enough I am sorry, she writes.

his reply is gentle: you are enough. do not stop writing.

(she carries that letter tucked inside her sleeve for a long while, like a talisman—though against what evil, she does not know.)

she is in the house of her grandmother when a familiar voice calls out to her: my lady luthien!

this is when arwen looks up, sees aragorn—broad of chest and rugged, still wearing his battered mail, with one hand balanced lazily on the pommel of his sword. All the trees of caras galadhon are gold but he is shadow and silver, kingliness resting lightly on his shoulders—

and arwen thinks, oh fuck

Cute headcanon and adorable story - but Arwen was in Lothlorien until Aragorn was twenty years old (hardly more than a child by the reckoning of the Dunedain).  He’d never even known that Elrond had a daughter until he saw her in the woods of Rivendell.

You’re right about one thing; Arwen was fond of him but not in love, and pretty much everyone (including his own mother) told Aragorn that she was totally out of his league.  Out of his galaxy really.  Elrond also warned him off, because Arwen loving Aragorn would mean Arwen was lost forever to her people.

But not long after that fateful meeting, Aragorn set out for the wilds and the rest of his scattered people.  After almost thirty years of fighting against Sauron’s evil in every corner of Arda that he could reach, he grew tired of the constant wandering and decided to go home to Rivendell and rest a while.

On the way, he stopped in Lothlorien, and Galadriel (perhaps wiser than Elrond in this, or at least better able to accept fate when she sees it) clad him in elven finery, so he looked more like an elf-lord of old than a travel-worn Ranger.

And that was when Arwen fell in love.  And they plighted their troth not long after, walking barefoot on Cerin Amroth’s undying grasses.  To his credit, Aragorn also warned her that she would have to choose mortality to stay with him, which would mean never seeing her father (who she loved dearly) or any of her people again.

When Aragorn finally reached Rivendell, Elrond still called him “my son” but he demanded Aragorn become more than a mere Ranger to wed his only daughter.

The heir in exile needed to reclaim the lost throne of Gondor, or he wouldn’t be marrying anyone, troth or no troth.

Sep 30

coelasquid:

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

image

They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

image

update: she caught a squirrel today

image

She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

She looks about the age to be a pokemon master.

Clearly she is a real, live Disney princess.

Sep 30

leaper182:

littleclevercat:

Assassin’s Creed. With kittens.

Death by Cute.

Sep 29
Sep 29
leaper182:

khymeira:

howtobeafuckinglady:

please refrain from making transphobic comments and just like appreciate how amazing amiyah’s hair is 

What a time to be alive

??? I thought she was a really pretty lady with pretty hair?

I’m guessing someone made transphobic comments on a similar post, maybe of the same pretty lady with pretty hair.
Because some people just don’t know how to be nice.

leaper182:

khymeira:

howtobeafuckinglady:

please refrain from making transphobic comments and just like appreciate how amazing amiyah’s hair is 

What a time to be alive

??? I thought she was a really pretty lady with pretty hair?

I’m guessing someone made transphobic comments on a similar post, maybe of the same pretty lady with pretty hair.

Because some people just don’t know how to be nice.

Sep 28
Sep 28
awkward-fallen-angel:

spooniestrong:

electricarc:

view fullsize
Been playing with this concept for a while.

I love this. So much.

this should be posted everywhere

awkward-fallen-angel:

spooniestrong:

electricarc:

view fullsize

Been playing with this concept for a while.

I love this. So much.

this should be posted everywhere

Sep 27
headlessmonk:

artschoolhra:

frozeninshame:

micdotcom:

The favorite food of every U.S. state, according to Twitter 

Why do ZERO states have macaroni and cheese as their favorite

What Rhode Islander has ever chosen succotash… 

preserves?????? more like canned fruits from hell


Okay, someone needs to filter their shit better. Vinegar is an ingredient, not a food. I’m pretty sure you can make yourself sick trying to drink straight vinegar.Also…”entree”??? = “My favorite food is a meal”

headlessmonk:

artschoolhra:

frozeninshame:

micdotcom:

The favorite food of every U.S. state, according to Twitter 

Why do ZERO states have macaroni and cheese as their favorite

What Rhode Islander has ever chosen succotash… 

preserves?????? more like canned fruits from hell

Okay, someone needs to filter their shit better. Vinegar is an ingredient, not a food. I’m pretty sure you can make yourself sick trying to drink straight vinegar.

Also…”entree”??? = “My favorite food is a meal”

Sep 27

leaper182:

bead-bead:

tygermama:

introspectivenavelgazer:

mpreg-tony:

bemusedlybespectacled:

bombadilcumbercookie:

batched:

Marina is a dreamer.

emily is a theory

mara is a name

I don’t feel safe revealing my first name, but sufficed to say, Google has nothing on me, literally lol:

image

I AM VOID

I AM ALSO THE VOID.

{REDACTED] is a wolf

{redacted} is a headbanger

Google didn’t even auto-fill mine. Wow.

my listings, in order:

goober

badass fanfiction

wizard